Potential of Gay Men...Hence Society's Fear

Why is society terrified of male homosexuals, in particular? Why is 90% of the population terrified of a group of males who make up at the very most (according to Kinsey) 10% of the population?

After all, society in general, makes it clear that gay men are weak, lack strength, can't even hold down a pair of loafers etc.

Okay...if gay men are so fragile, feeble, and collapse under the strain, what's the big deal? Why must most boys who, from the moment their less than "masculine" traits manifest, experience habitual intimidation, cruelty, and persecution from every corner of their world, even their own families?

Racial and religious minorities still have the support of family and friends growing up; however, young "effeminate" boys must withstand and bear the weight of society's hatred all alone. In general, "tomboys" are accepted for the most part, even preferred in some cases, whereas everyone, including their own family members, often ostracizes boys who do not conform to society’s standards of masculine. I've heard some adults go as far as to say they would rather hear their son had cancer than find out he is a homosexual. What is it about male homosexuality that can turn, what appears to be a normal person, into a fearful, sadistic, raging lunatic? What is it about male homosexuality that can make parents turn on their own child?

Years ago, this conversation -- as much as I can recall -- transpired between my Aunt and Uncle, the same ones who unmercifully punished their kid for cursing, and later that day told the boy, "Be careful next time" after he shot the dog’s eye out just for something to do. Keep in mind, my mother told me this and considering how she feels about my father’s side of the family, this may contain some embellishment.

Aunt: "Bill, I’m afraid I have bad news.it..it's Jimmy. You better sit down..."

Uncle: "OK, what did he do this time? Should I get the strap?"

Aunt: "Now Bill, please...I want you to remain as calm as you poss....getting.."

Uncle: "Oh my God! My son's a homo, isn't he"?!?!?

Aunt: "Oh Heaven forbid! Of course not...I said, bad news not devastating..."

Uncle: "Goddammit! What the hell is it?"

Aunt: "Honey, your language...our Lord...He's listening..and..."

Uncle: "Fuck! What the hell is it?"

Aunt: "Our Jimmy is a murderer."

Uncle: "...don’t ever scare me like that again! Murder...we can deal with. Call my attorney...I'm sure he has the names of some good defense attorneys...By the way. Who did he kill?

Aunt: "Bria.."

Uncle: "You mean that kid who ruined Jimmy’s chances at a baseball scholarship..the same kid who threw a ball like my Great Aunt Ethel, and the one who lost that all important final game that would have given Jimmy the exposure....

Aunt: "That’s the one."

Uncle: " Well as usual, Jimmy took things a little too far, but...."

Aunt: "...but we always knew Jimmy was “all boy” didn’t we Bill? He was always.."

Uncle: "That poor kid was so disappointed when that homo Brian didn't get the ball... "

From this strange conversation, I would say my aunt and uncle value "masculinity" more than anything else, more than their Lord, and even more than life itself.

Why all the hatred toward people who society makes very clear, are "frail"? Why does society insist upon convincing this group, who they perceive as "less than masculine", that they are powerless? Why does this cruel form of "brainwashing" begin, in many cases, before some of these boys even start school?

More than biology, gender is mostly a social construct. Gender specifically dictates what is socially and culturally "normal" for men and women in our patriarchal system. Gender inequality makes certain the established few will maintain authoritative and/or dominating influence over the many. The United Nations sums it up this way.

"Women, who comprise half the world's population, do two thirds of the world's work, earn one tenth of the world's income and own one hundredth of the world's property."

Men rule, that's for sure, but it only takes a small minority of men...the rest of the population, including the men excluded from this small minority - 99% of all men - must be kept in line so that the structure of the patriarchal system can continue to exist. Society achieves this by clearly defining what is masculine and what is considered "less than" masculine, labeling it "feminine" or "weak".

Conditioned from birth on how to act and respond, most males conform by repressing any side of themselves that defies qualities traditionally ascribed to men. The irony is their quest to be men is rooted in fear, fear of not living up to society's agenda for them. In other words, sheep, scared to death of anything that might interfere with their "virility"...hardly what I'd call manly.

Boys who read more books than are physically active or express emotions more than is appropriate are labeled less than masculine. There is a very good reason this is so...passionate men, who think for themselves pose a great danger to what took thousands of years to build; therefore, it's best if masculinity is defined in such a way that pretty much eliminates both passion and intellect.

For example, American men, it seems, are only allowed to express excessive emotion when it comes to sports, dogs, and patriotism. Intellectual men are classified as commie, pinko, weak and not as manly despite the fact that most of the founding fathers could be described as intellectuals. Too many thinking men in touch with their emotions in combination with their physical strength could wreak havoc on a system where authority is vested in "maleness"?

The one emotion men are allowed to express, and still be men is anger. It's important not to eliminate anger from a man's repertoire of emotion because anger is mobilizing, and channeled correctly can make for a better warrior. However, in order for anger to remain "manly" it must be directed toward non-conformity, men's bluster takes on a "pinkish" hue, because of all the emotions, anger is the most dangerous if ever it's directed toward "thee man".

By their very presence, gay men dare to challenge all of the protocols derived from a society organized around male privilege and the oppressive relationship between "masculine" and "feminine." Acceptance of gay male characteristics could very possibly undermine not only the definition of what it is to be a man, but make acceptable, feminine qualities.

So, what's the deal? Why so much effort to keep gay men down?

First of all, openly gay men are anything but weak, the reason the process of indoctrination begins so early. Enduring a lifetime of animosity, hate, rejection and threats to body, mind and soul, openly gay men have shown the kind of courage the majority of the population does not have and never will possess in their lifetime. This is especially true of gay men whose effeminacy outs them at a very young age. Even if these men never officially "come out" the courage it must take to face and overcome the abuse inflicted upon them, sometimes on a daily basis from early childhood on is remarkable. In contrast, dig beneath the surface of male bravado and you will find insecurities and fear so deeply ingrained it would take years of psychological therapy to penetrate. Someone once said, those "who worship power are the most terrified creatures on earth".

Secondly, due to the stigma of male homosexuality, there is no telling how many gay men really exist. If homosexuals suddenly became as worthy as heterosexuals, therefore providing the generative force necessary to push all men attracted to other men out of the closet ; gay men might band together and discover how powerful they really are.

Thirdly, all openly gay men, to one degree or another, defy society's definition of what it is to be a "man", blurring the boundaries relating to gender, and many pay the price that other men are not willing to take. What if we remove the price and tolerate gay men the same way we accept straight men? "Masculine" would be redefined over time to include the complete spectrum of emotion, creativity, intellect, and all the characteristics currently defined as "less than" masculine. These same qualities kept in check by the powers that be, once released, might allow men, in turn, to release their fears and embrace who they really are instead of letting family, friends, social institutions and tradition dictate who they should be.

Most gay men have learned to depend on themselves, having no one to turn too when growing up, therefore making it difficult to trust others and less likely to unite. Unfortunately, this greatly advantages those who want to keep gay men "in their place". However, if openly gay men, already courageous, unite and harness that courage, greatly increasing their power, and encourage those more inhibited to shear the wool coat, a true revolution of values could result and put an end to the lies that keep us all in line.